


Is This Starting Over?

by spun809



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, F/M, Fluff, Possessed Reader, comfort/hurt, happy then super sad, reverse happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 02:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spun809/pseuds/spun809
Summary: You are staying with your new boyfriend Dean, you always expected him to keep you safe. Instead, you are learning what it means to be possessed





	Is This Starting Over?

Now

Clawing at your throat, you watched in terror as the fluorescent lighting flickered in the black mirror of what used to be Y/E/C eyes, as the viscous smoke forced its way inside your mouth. It tasted like ash and stank of rotting eggs. With each rapid beat of your heart you felt it slip a little further into your being, and soon you were losing control. A blink that was out of sync with your own body, was the first indicator that you weren’t fully you. It only took a few seconds from start to finish but it seemed more like hours and when your hand dropped to straighten out the hem of your t-shirt you realized with a growing terror that the demon that had hopped inside you for a ride was now the one in charge. The reflection of your face with those hideous obsidian orbs for eyes was the last thing you remembered. 

You were locked in a prison, even through the utter darkness that was swallowing you, you could just tell that you were confined. It wasn’t the type of jail cell that you thought of in old movies with the large iron bars, instead this was more like a box that a child might put a particularly nasty bug inside of with only a few pen poked holes in the lid, no food or water necessary, and you were at the whim of the creature that had attacked you. You didn’t bother moving around the space you were confined in because you knew it was something more than that. This seeping blackness was you being blocked out of your own mind and body. 

All you could think about was how Dean had looked when he had left earlier, his bright green eyes shining and full of love and his beaming smile, where was he now?

24 Hours Earlier

You couldn’t help the way that your body gravitated towards him. There was always something that was pulling you nearer to him. It was like you were helpless to stop it. 

“Promise,” he kissed your cheek softly as he closed the distance between the two of you, his sudden closeness allowing you to inhale the musky scent of engine oil and leather you loved so much, “I’ll be home in three days, tops.” 

You allowed him to scoop you tight against his much larger frame. There was something sweet about the way a man who was so physically large could be so soft when you were wrapped in his arms, he treated you like you were fragile and precious. You nuzzled your face against his chest and swore that underneath the bulky muscles you could hear the rhythmic beat of his heart increase slightly, and you wondered if it was responding to the closeness of your own. Things had been so good ever since you had come here sometimes it felt a little like a dream. Almost as if there was just too much happiness. 

You hugged him tight. Dean was a man who knew how to keep you on your toes, that much was certain, which kept the happiness from becoming boring. He knew how to pepper in just the right amount of surprises here and there that were able to keep you guessing, but there was something about the way he treated you, that in spite of the length of your relationship had you developing a happy routine together. It was a perfect balance. When you had first met a few months ago, four months, you thought to yourself, you had assumed he was a guy that was going to give you one night of earth shattering bliss and then leave you dreaming about him for years to come, comparing every other future lover to the one who got away. 

Instead, he had decided to tell you a story, a frightening story of monsters and things that went bump in the night and even though it was hard to believe, the conviction that he held was enough to convince you. He wanted to keep you safe, so he had said, but you didn’t understand why you were in danger at all. He told you about Demons and witches and how you had something that you wanted, but you weren’t sure why. 

Pressing your ear against his chest you wondered what might have happened if you had never heard that strange story. You’d probably be back to lugging around boxes and sighing dramatically every time some 50 year old dude checked out your chest, pouring drink after drink and never being thanked for anything. It was strange that you found yourself being thankful that things like monsters existed. 

That’s what had brought Dean Winchester into your life. Now you didn’t know if you could live without him. Still, a few days apart wouldn’t be too bad, right? 

 

6 Hours Earlier 

There had been a dull booming thud against the typically silent metal door of the bunker, it broke through the talk about the upsidedown on Stranger Things and you sighed, your show was just getting good. It was odd in all the time you had been there you had never heard anyone actually knock on the door. There was no part of you that hesitated in pulling it open however, Dean had already told you that the place was hidden from most otherworldly creatures. You knew before you greeted the woman standing there that it was some friend of the Winchester brothers who actually had enough manners not just to walk into a place that didn’t belong to them. 

“Sorry the boys are out,” you said as you moved aside to let them pass by you. 

“Actually,” the woman moved a little stiffly you thought, “I’m here to see you.” 

You felt your face pucker slightly but did you best to flatten back out your expression, no one knew you were here, beside the fact that there wasn’t anyone to be sent out to find you. Your family had pretty much up and abandoned you, so you were on your own. You choice to come with the boys didn’t really have a ripple effect, all you had to do was grab some of your clothes and battered sketchbooks and that was about all. You didn’t even have a pet fish to worry about missing you. 

She was hesitating right beyond the threshold. You took in her appearance, she had extremely short brown hair, and matching colored eyes that seemed to you to be a little vacant but there was also a motherly warmth buried in them. She seemed calm and collected and you wondered if maybe this was Mary that you had heard so much about but hadn’t met. 

“Well, come in,” you said trying your best to be polite in case this was a first impression of meeting the infamous mother, “I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Jody,” she said, “and like I said I know who you are.” 

Not the mom, you were a little relieved. It would have been weird to meet her without the boys there. Still, you had heard of Jody, it was Claire’s mom, from what you understood. You knew there had been an incident not too long ago involving the young hunter and you assumed that Jody wanted to talk to the Winchester’s about it. Also, it explained the initial stiffness, you didn’t know much about the case but you knew that she was pretty protective of the girl and maybe that was all you were feeling, the leftover resentment that her daughter had gotten bitten on a dangerous hunt. 

That was why you were staying home in the first place, so you didn’t get hurt. At least that is what he had told you when you first met him. 

4 Months Ago

“You know the british guy in the suit you met the other night?” 

Your eyebrows shot up, how did he know about Crowley? You had met him after working late at the bar one night. He stood out to you unlike most of the other random people that you came across in your line of work. Mainly, you had found it particularly funny, when the serious looking man, dressed so business professional, was ordering a pina colada complete with little pink umbrella. 

He had been watching you as he sipped out of the dual lime and neon orange straws, his eyes landing on you no matter what spot of the bar you moved to, but when he finally worked up the nerve to talk to you he had been gentle and soft-spoken, which surprised you even more the floofy drink for some reason. 

“So pet, have you worked in this industry long?” The tone was slightly sarcastic but you could tell the intent behind it was good natured enough. 

“Yeah I’ve been here about a year now,” and what followed after your initial pleasantries was a long and drawn out conversation about your life and the two of you trying to one up the other over which of you had more family drama. 

“Well, my son was sent back in time to die in the wreckage of a sinking ship.” 

Clearly, it was time for Crowley to be cut off. 

As you grabbed his mostly empty glass, watching the way the little paper umbrella had fallen into the cup and was beginning to get soggy, you felt his fingers twist around yours and he had slipped a piece of paper into your hand. Figuring it was a phone number, that happened sometimes, you absently shoved it into the back pockets of your jeans and went to call the man a cab.   
When you came back over to his seat, it was vacant, and even though you looked all around the small space he was just gone. You hoped he made it home alright because he had seemed pretty lit. 

You should have never bothered worrying about Crowley, it was because of him that all of this was happening to you in the here and now, you couldn’t believe there had ever been a moment of concern for him on your part. 

Now

The darkness that had swallowed you, slowly, began to lift. It was like stepping out of a heavy fog as things started to rematerialize. That moment when a car was no longer a blurry moving figure in the grey shifting vapor and instead a common mundane object you knew like the back of your hand. Still, this was different because what you were really stepping back into was the awareness of your body, and while you could see what was happening, you standing in a bathroom with a cellphone gripped tight in your hand and pressed against your ear. The words being said were not being chosen by you. 

“Dean, I need you to come home right away, Cas is here and he says it's important.” 

You felt momentary relief at the thought of Dean being back, he knew about this stuff and you prayed he could help you, but that quickly dissipated as you thought about the facts. The thing inside you was trying to lure him here and that surely meant it was a trap. 

“Yeah baby,” a moniker you would never have used with Dean, “I love you too.” 

A voice spoke loudly inside your head, it echoed around you, forcing you to focus solely on the thing that was doing the talking. 

“Trust me sweetheart, he won’t be coming here to save you,” there was a pause for its sinister laughter, “the two of you have a price on your head and bringing you to the King is going to pay big dividends.” 

After the voice was gone you were left back in the strange confinement of your mind to wait and see if Dean would be able to save you from the wicked fate the creature, that had possessed your body, had planned for you. 

There were few thoughts to comfort you, so you cast around to when you first met Dean, and how he had been so desperate to save you. You hopped where ever he was now he would still be able to do exactly that. 

 

4 Months Ago

That had been over a week before Dean had walked into the same dingy, small-town bar, it was an embarrassing place to work. Where the older, heavy drinking crowd still thought it was cool to practice two-stepping on wednesday nights. You didn’t even get tipped that great there, so when the tall man dressed in a suit sauntered over to you, with a jaw that could cut glass and dusty blond hair, you had been quick with a seductive lilt of your hips and made sure to lean forward just enough to push out your cleavage. He had seemed like a drink of ice water on a hot August afternoon in the normality of your everyday routine. 

Then he had started questioning you about your night, the specific details of the conversations with a drunk man that you had only known for a few hours, and you had racked your brain to find anything that might stand out to a guy that looked like Dean did. Nothing came to mind though, mainly he had been spewing weird things about the devil and babies and you had just thought he was trying to be funny. 

However, Dean didn’t seem to think it was very hilarious because he cast a weary look over to his partner, and then he was asking you to, “come with us, miss.” 

Things had escalated quickly from there. 

Dean had spilled everything then. He had told you the thing that Crowley had been talking about weren’t some type of drunken rambling, instead he was being literal. He told you how that man was actually a demon, the King of Hell to be exact, and you did your best to keep your mouth from hanging open in shock. They told you how ever since you met him there had been demons lurking around your little hometown searching for the person who had last contact with their fearless leader. 

He had been glad that he had found you first. Then you were being whisked off to the bunker, you had thought it was kind of creepy at first. The exterior looked like something from a slasher movie where the girl is brought and tortured, later when you found out about the dungeon you were not surprised, inside however you were pleased to see that it was actually pretty awesome. 

Pulling your clothes out of the dryer you had found it again, the little crumpled piece of paper was floating on top of your newly fluffy and brightly scented clothes, but it was faded from the wash, no real trace of the information that might have been imparted from it. 

“Do you think it’s important?” You asked Dean, and he traced a finger over the blurry rush of dried ink. 

“Maybe, I think you should stay with us just in case,” there was a certain gleam in his eyes that made you blush. 

“I think I would like that.” 

6 Hours Earlier 

After what had seemed like an eternity you had gotten the woman to at least sit down, instead of doing the weird no personal space standing next to you move. You had passed through several rooms and through the winding hallways with what felt like a shadow connected to you, always only one step behind you. Telling yourself the whole way that maybe Jody just didn’t know the place that well. It wasn’t like you had ever seen her there before. Then you reached the kitchen. It seemed like the most neutral room of the bunker to you. 

As she went to sit down on one of the stools, you started wondering what your next move should be. Things were awkward between the two of you and it was making your nervous. So even though you weren’t that good at being suzy homemaker, the best you could come up with to calm yourself was brewing a fresh pot of coffee and offering her a clean mug to drink it out of. 

“So what did you need from me?” You were immensely curious as to what someone who hunted monsters could want from a normal boring person like you. 

She just looked down at the steaming cup in her hand, almost like she didn’t hear you ask her a question. 

You had been trying to come up with topics of conversation ever since she had stepped inside but every time you brought something up it was either met with quick one word replies or complete silence. Every passing moment was starting to unsettle you more and more. So instead of sitting down at the metallic edged table, you stayed busy with various items in the kitchen, maybe you should make some food or something, you thought. 

You didn’t really know how to act around hunters, it always made you appear like the strange one because you knew nothing about the monsters they were used to seeing everyday. 

 

Now

You were being allowed to watch as he busted in through the door, but you knew things were going to get bad quickly as he rushed up to put his arms around you. 

“Hey” he brushed the hair off your face, “what’s going on? Where’s Cas?” His face was molded with lines of worry. 

Your mouth let out a bubbly laugh. It sounded cold and empty, not like what your real laughter sounded like. He didn’t let go of your tiny frame though, instead just pressing you in tighter against his side. When the thing that was in control of moving your lips remained silent, he started to get nervous, shifting your body so that your eyes were staring at his. 

It was horrible, he was looking at you with genuine concern, but he didn’t know what was going on. It was the kind of look that said he thought maybe you were struggling with the idea of not knowing who his friends were or what his job really entailed, not the look that said you are possessed and I know how to fix this. The monster inside of you was clearly able to read your thoughts however, because this train of thinking had it suddenly piping up. 

“He had to fly off somewhere,” there was a heavy pause, “I didn’t know things like angels were real.” 

It was clearly an attempt to startle you, there wasn’t any such thing as angels, you knew Dean had told you all about evil creatures that lurked around, but you also knew this man wouldn’t have missed an opportunity to tell you about the wonderful things too. This was just this monster's plan, to confuse you and your boyfriend. 

“Hun, I’m sorry,” he pulled you back into his arms, “sometimes I forget that you didn’t grow up around this stuff and filling you in is fairly new to me.” 

You were taken aback, what all hadn’t he told you. Apparently, he knew angels, next thing you knew he was going to tell you he knew God too. Then it got you thinking about how this all happened in the first place. He had promised you would be safe from demons in the bunker but here you were trapped inside your own body and he couldn’t even tell the difference. It seemed like you didn’t know him at all. 

The thing possessing you wrapped your arms around him, spinning his back to the door and brushed a hand across his face to focus his eyes on you. He smiled, it was bright and cheery, no longer thinking you were mad about his neglect to tell you about his world. 

“I think it had something to do with Crowley, you wanted to know about it to right?” The demon said using your mouth. 

“Yeah, but I mean you already told me what you know, and from here I’m not really sure how we can help,” he hugged your body a little closer. 

“Bad news for the two of you Winchester,” he creature said right before spinning out of his arms to pull your arm back and form a fist which flew at his face. 

In the midst of the fighting you saw something behind Dean, the demon was so focused on battle it didn’t seem to notice. A broken jody was limping up the staircase, she had managed to cut the ropes the demon had used to bind her to the chair in the basement. You could see the familiar mop of dusty brown hair. You felt slightly guilty thinking that it had probably been the demon using your hands to tie her up and beat her bloody in the first place. 

“Dean,” the man spun around at the ragged sound of the familiar voice.

“Jody? What are you doing here?” 

She was limping her way over to the body that was housing your consciousness, who was temporarily standing stunned at the development, “it’s Y/N, she’s possessed.” 

He turned back to the girlfriend he had been fighting moments earlier, a look of dawning understanding drawn across his face, but all you could think is how grateful you were that the charade was finally over. Now he could actually save you. 

24 Hours Earlier

“Three days is a long time,” you pouted, but it was mainly for show because you knew it would be nice to lounge around for a few days in sweatpants while you binged on pizza and ice cream like you used to do. 

He gave your ass a soft smack, “just make sure you don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone,” and he threw a wink your direction as he pulled himself away from you so he could walk out the door. 

Sammy was rolling his eyes at the two of your antics, but you knew he didn’t mean it as he followed his big brother. You giggled a little as you watched the two of them walk out bickering about the impala and who was going to drive first, Sam wanted to drive first so he could sleep and Dean said he missed being behind the wheel, so it should be him. You decided it was best to leave them to it, not wanting either to think that you were taking sides, even more so when you weren’t going to be there to help them sort it out later. 

Deciding that the best thing you could do is go get some movie food and hunker down on the couch to try and avoid wanting to butt into their last minute argument. Anyway, you had plans, this was going to be a perfect night to catch up on all the television shows the boys always groaned about when you watched stuff together, that way you could get your fill. The last words you heard from the boys were, “bitch,” and , “jerk.” Awe, you were glad at least that they had made up. 

You grabbed a blanket to wrap around your shoulders, and flicked on the T.V. because tonight was going to be perfect. 

 

6 Hours Earlier 

Right in the middle of spreading out some mayo on a slice of the white wonder bread that Dean always seemed to buy, you heard the scraping of a chair, which meant that yet again Jody was going to be invading your space. 

“Don’t worry about helping,” you said absently not turning around, “I’ve got it.”

“Trust me, you don’t” you felt the crushing grip of fingers digging into the flesh of your shoulder. 

Spinning around you saw that Jody’s eyes were no longer the soft doe brown and instead they were a strange shimmering blackness that reminded you of something you would see on a spider, it made you skin crawl and had you instinctively jumping away from her. 

You flattened yourself against the nearest wall, curling your limbs upon themselves, trying to get yourself as small as possible. Horror gripping your body tight, you felt as if you had just run a million miles, if this was the fight or flight response, you were in flight. You watched as a strange black cloud suddenly began pouring itself out of the woman's mouth, seemingly almost alive as it twisted and flowed, there was so much of it you wondered if it was ever going to end. Her jaw looked unhinged it was open so wide, and it looked like a hideous version of the famous painting The Scream. 

You watched as the smoke, which was almost positively sentient, began to search it way out of the underground room. It hung strangely in the air shifting to find its escape and soon it was pushing through the slatted air vent that was high up next to the ceiling. 

It was barely a heartbeat later that Jody, the real Jody, was next to you placing a soft hand on your arm and helping you up off the floor. Talking to you simply and trying to get you to calm down. You just sighed as you stood and told her you needed to go to the bathroom. 

Now

“Y/N, what’s going on?”  
You wondered why he acted like you would be able to talk to him. 

Your body contorted into a mock pout, still it was all completely beyond your control. “ Awe shucks I guess the jig is up, the truth is she was an easy target to get close to you Dean, the rest was simple I just had to pick out a hunter who knew the location of your little lair and ride them over, thanks by the way, Jody.” 

“Big mistake,” Dean said. 

As he threw the first real punch, you were horrified to realize that you could feel it, before he had just been countering the monsters movements and trying to restrain you. Now, there was some pent up anger bubbling inside of him that he was taking out on your very real body. You could feel the way the wind was knocked from your chest and your bones splintering under the force of his blows. Pain was coming in blinding flashes with each hit of his fist. 

You could dimly recognize Jody telling Dean to be careful that you were still in there. 

The demon inside you was putting up a pretty good fight itself and you watched in terror as your own thin fingers managed to wrap around the thick column of Dean’s neck and you could hear the way he sputtered as he tried to draw in a breath. There was something about watching the two of your bodies locked in battle that you doubted you would ever be able to unsee. 

Then you saw Sam and you prayed it was little brother to the rescue since Dean was clearly not getting it and you could see the way his mouth was muttering something in another language. A sudden wave of horror washed over you as you watched Dean pull a huge bowie knife from inside of his coat, he was brandishing it at you and you prayed that it was a bluff and that he wouldn’t really be willing to stab you, you were still alive in there, and you doubted you would survive a knifing. 

You felt the cloud began to writhe around inside of your body, you were fighting it trying your best to will your mind to push it out and after Sam kept chanting the words you eventually felt it began to climb its way out of your mouth and this time instead of finding another unwilling vessel it seemed to dissipate as it hit the heavy cement ceiling of the bunker. 

You collapsed against the cold floor, and you felt tears stinging against the corners of your eyes. 

“It hurts so bad,” You managed to choke out. 

“I’m so sorry,” Dean said as he rushed down to you. 

You couldn’t fight the way that your body shivered away from him, the image of the way he had clobbered your body still to fresh in your mind. His face fell and he stepped up and away from you. He stood there shifting slightly between his two feet. 

“Let us help you,” Sam said as he seemed to notice the strange tension between you and his brother. 

You let the younger Winchester gather you up off the floor. You just knew that there was no turning back from this and you didn’t know how you were ever going to kiss the lips of the man who even if for a split second had looked like he might be willing to stab you. Maybe this was what fighting monsters really looked like. Watching the ones you love suffer and having to make hard choices. All you knew was that it was going to be hard to recover from this.


End file.
